Adult son special needs

**sbonner** · 12-07-2010, 07:18 PM

Hello everyone. My name is Sharon and I live in a very small and remote farming community in Western Canada. I am a bit hesitant to make this post....but what have I got to lose?

I have a 21 year old son named James. When he was 12 years old he was involved in a tragic accident on a piece of farming equipment. His father, my husband died at the scene and James suffered some bad burns and ended up losing both of his arms at the shoulder due to them being severely crushed.

James has made a long and remarkable recovery over the years both physically and mentally.

At least that is what I thought until recently.

About 3 months ago, James had to go to the clinic with a situation that I learned was called "priapism". This was followed by severe depression as well. The cause of the priapism has not been linked to any disease, but rather to two issues:

1. There must be some damage done perhaps undetected from the accident.
2. As I have learned James has had no way of giving himself relief. Since around 15 he has had erections that last for many hours, sometimes days. As he has gotten older it has become worse and worse and for the past year and half, it has been both physically and mentally painful for him, with his erections lasting the better part of 3 days at times.

I feel awful for not having the sense to pick up on his pain and emotional distress. I knew he had bouts of depression but if I ever asked he wouldn't tell me or just said he had been thinking about his dad or the accident. I had no idea he was having problems in this "area" until the priapism.

He has refused medication. There is a concern that prolonged use of a medication to supress arousal will eventually lead to impotence entirely. So too can priapism if it occurs too often. But in a way I don't blame him for refusing the medication.

He has had two more instances of priapism this week and both times blood has had to be drained from his penis.

This is such a difficult situation. Him having prolonged erections is just not an option anymore, either physically or mentally. I have some ideas, not sure I want to talk about them here or in private. I guess I will see how horrified the responses are!

Sharon

**Auntylady** · 12-07-2010, 07:28 PM

Crikey that sounds nasty......has he prosthetic arms?

**sbonner** · 12-07-2010, 07:33 PM

Originally Posted by auntylady

Crikey that sounds nasty......has he prosthetic arms?

Yes. Prosthetic arms with hook attachments. He has prosthetic arms that are cosmetic as well. To make him feel a bit more "normal". Life like but relatively useless. With both arms missing I need to adjust the fingers for him if he wishes to hold something.