Thread: How do I explain....

....mental handicap to Sofie (just turned 3).

She is fully aware (and understanding) of physical handicaps, as I have a friend in a wheel chair who has been a part of her life since she was born. But we have recently made friends with a woman who has a physically and mentally handicapped child, and I want to have a good way of explaining this before we actually meet up with them (Sofie is friends with the younger daughter).

I feel bad that I don't know how to explain this to Sofie in the way I have explained physical differences. Why is this one so much harder? It is really important to me to be open and honest, and being the child she is, I just know she will ask questions, so I want to be prepared to answer them openly and honestly.

It is really important to me that this isn't a subject she feels at all awkward about, as well as not thinking it is a big deal.

Any suggestions?

how ahve you explained the physical? did you say something along the lines of their legs dont work properly so they need a chair to go about in? i guess it depends on the level of handicap, but maybe just along the same lines as the part of the body not working as it should, sohe needs extra looking after / help, or it affects his speech etc.

this is what id do i think, not had to get into detail which wither of mine really, its just one of those thigns to talk about when it becomes relevant.

Why not ask the mother of the child what explanation she gives to other children?

Sofie ask questions.......surely not!!!!! ;-)

Children are often very accepting of differences in others, so I would not worry too much.
Although he is much younger , the Mini Munchkin met a friends son who has very severe physical and mental disabilities, and was not at all worried/ phased/ scared...grabbed the opportunity to be able to nick toys from someone much bigger
How handicapped is this child? Do you need a detailed explanation before you meet?
Personally i would just introduce the child as normally as possibly and then handle any questions as and when they arise.
Simply say that some people's bodies have difficulty in doing certain things and they need other people to help them...
.Is Sofie into learning about the body and how it works like my Munchkin Man?
He knows all about the brain sending messages to make hings happen. If sofie understands this, you could explain that this child's brain cannot send proper messages.
The important thing as you have said is to be matter of fact. so that it doesn't become a big issue

If you have more details about this child's difficulties, maybe we could come up with some more specific answers

Zadok's school has a unit for children with learning difficulties and there are several children at the school with aspergers and autism, the school has a reputation locally for being 'friendly' to those on the autistic spectrum. We just explained that some people's brain works differently and might make them behave in a different way to other children and that they can't always help this behaviour. There is an aspergers' boy in Elijah's nursery class and we have a friend with aspergers in reception.
We had a particularly difficult time last year when zadok was bullied by an older autistic child - he was torn between trying to be nice to someone with learning difficulties and needing to sort out the fact he was being hurt. The school sorted it very well when we found out, apparently the boy had a history of latching onto children obsessively.
annie

I found it easy to talk about physical handicaps to Imogen. We were once in a shop and she couldn't keep her eyes off a little girl with no legs in a wheelchair. Afterwards I just told her that perhaps she was born like that / had had an accident / had very poorly legs that had to be taken off. She was OK with that. Then we saw mentally handicapped children on tv and I just explained that the brain can become 'poorly' too, just like arms/legs etc. I had already explained that the brain controls our body so I think she understood that. She was a little older than Sofie (4) when we had these conversations.

This is and interesting topic, I am going to have to approach Alfie soon about his possible Asperger's. He knows he's different, he's quite happy about it, but we have never spoken about the fact that his differences have a name.

Both my children went to a Preschool where the Assistant Supervisor was in a wheelchair she had Spina Bifida. The children in the Preschool were so accepting of her I do not think they thought of her that different. I think I explained that her legs didn't work properly and they were fine with that. I think we do not give children credit for things like this. Both children now go to a school that has a Special Needs unit and they have children in the class that are in wheelchairs and can't communicate but they are all friends and do not thing anything of it. You have to be honest with children they aren't silly and if you are honest they accept things.