Thread: I don't know where to start

I am new to the site but it was suggested by my sister earlier in the week when I hit an all time low and my whole family started getting worried about me as did I. I am 3 months pregnant with my second kid and have been hinking at times that I don't want it, bad thoughts I know but after the pain I went through with the carrying of Oscar I don't think I can go through that again.

I also work for myself and am constantly having to get out there and try and get more business in, not easy and when you are feeling fat and frumpy you just don't want to do it, then you think about the mortgage at the end of the month and you realise you have to or you are not going to eat.

I could go on for hours as I need to get it off my chest, there is very little support in my area very few mums groups, exercise groups and the like, I am seeing the doc on Wed but have very little faith that he will be able to do anything.

To anybody that reads this thanks for letting me go on.

Tori

Go on as much as you like, we're here to listen and help if we can

Talk to us all you need, luv. These doubts are completely normal. Talking about it will help you get your head around things.

Yes, bang on as much as you need to.

Have you joined your local netmums site? They have lots of local meets and locaal groups.

Thanks for the replies, it is reassuring to hear everybody being understanding. I have contacted the local NCT and it is trying to get a reply closer than 45 minutes away, which appears to be my local coffee morning. The local midwives are useless and just say there is nothing in the local area.

To be honest after writing that this morning I have had a bit of a better day, very long as I haven't been to sleep since 3 this morn and have been driving and working all day. God bless my parents for taking Oscar off my hands and looking after him, so I don't have to worry about him while I work.

welcome to MO, sorry you are having a crap time at the moment
We are all here to listen and help if we can

Have you contacted your council under 5's section, they usually provide a list of playgroups etc
Or ask at the library

Well, I went to the doc today which was actually quite reassuring as he restated that I was NORMAL!! I burst into tears in his office but then I didn't feel silly. I had been having a couple of really good days.

Oscar has gone to his grandmothers for a couple of days as I am teaching for the next couple of days and my mom can't babysit so he has to go to the mother in laws which is 1.5 hours away so makes a really long day if I have to drop him off and pick him up on the same day. So a couple of quiet nights ahead.

Things took a downturn when I got home unfortunately as I got an e-mail, work related, from somebody who thinks I am faking it and is basically trying to slander my company and professional name, I just wish she could see the state of my house!! I can't bebotherd to clean it anymore than necessary so in my eyes it is a mess, I just don't let anybody in that doesn't need to come in. I work out in the public so nobody really needs to come here and I do manage to put a good front on in public.

My husband did manage to turn things around again when he got home and am feeling better again having discussed his awful day, he is a prison officer at the prison in the news today!! and no they haven't found any guns as far as I know, we don't talk about things as I don't really want to know.

On a rant again but it does make me feel better, and I would like to thank you all for reading it and letting me go on and on!!

Hi Tori, welcome to the site, sounds like you have a lot on your plate. Whereabouts in Shropshire are you? I am in Oswestry, which is not too bad for a market town and has reasonable facilities. The trouble with Shropshire is that it's so big and underpopulated, I don't think the council or health service try as hard unless you live in the big towns like Shrewsbury, and tend to neglect the little market towns. Anyway, hope things soon get better, and remember there is such a thing as prenatal depression too, so please if you feel like you can't cope, get back to the doctor for some help before it develops into a full blown problem. Sending you ((hugs)).

Thanks OzMum,

I am in Market Drayton, and you are right there is nothing unless you live in one of the bigger towns, I was living in Shrew when I was preggers with Oscar, I was working then but there was the support after I had him, until I moved out here. I have my mother instead, which is great.

When I saw the doc yesterday he did basically tell me I was normal and that he wants to keep an eye on me as I think he is thinking prenatal depression, I know my husband is.

Os is still with his granny tonight and hubby is working late so I am about to put my feet up and watch my telly programmes and then get an early night.

Going to the NCT next week so will see what happens there and if there is anything local to here!!

Thanks for the again

I know Market Drayton and I agree, it does seem to be a bit of a one horse town - no offence meant of course. I haven't lived in Oswestry very long but it does seem to be a bit "friendlier" and the health facilities are well thought of. The local orthopaedic hospital has also now acquired a new midwife led birthing unit and I wish I'd lived here when I had my last one because it sounds amazing. But sorry, that won't help you! Did you find anything out at the NCT?