Thread: co sleeping

Hi everyone, i'm new to the site and thought i'd best start with an ice breaker (as suggested!).

I have a daughter, Frances, aged nearly 6 months. I am enjoying motherhood and my new found maternal instiincts. I'm lucky to have a very supportive husband which helps as we enjoy parenting together.

i registered yesterday after desperate measures to seek some help, advice, tips, miracle potions etc to help my little one with the dreaded "SLEEP".

My husband and i are following the continuum concept as much as possible and currently co sleep with Fran. Up to now we haven't had any problems, i follow a routine before bed, bath, story etc I then feed FRan to sleep in our bed (all very safe) and then i go downstairs. Fran will usually sleep until we go to bed and join her. For the last week Fran has not settled. It has taken me nearly 2 hours of constant feeding and then as soon as i leave the room she wakes up crying. I have given in 2 nights over the Xmas period because i was so exhausted and frustrated, i ended up bringing her downstairs and letting her sleep on me while i tried to watch a very quiet TV.

I'm sure this is just a "phase" or "growth" or even "teething" etc but if anyone has any tips then please help me.
My husband and i love spendoing our time with Fran but it would be lovely to have an hour just to ourselves!!

Hiya, I joined today as well. I wish I had a miracle potion for you but don't.
I love the continuum concept and used that style of parenting with my two. I used to do the same when mine were not settled, anything to help you avoid that exhausted feeling sounds good to me! It won't last forever, please don't worry too much about being relaxed / flexible about things.
Only issues is here, as you point out needing the time with your dh. I hope your baby settles soon. Could he have a cold or, as you say teething. Or could it be that she just wants to be with mummy ATM.

Hi bighair
It's been a while since you posted...How have things been? I thought maybe putting her to bed a little later, an hour or so could help settle her again. But I'm not sure whether it is too late for such advice now.

I too co-sleep with my dd now 16 months but she never goes through and recently seems to be looking for booby every hour it seems but more as a comfort/habit rather than a real need for a drink.
Any advice??

Hmm... are these situations problems *for you* or things that cultural expectations lead us to think 'should' be different? If you're cosleeping and feeding doesn't disturb your sleep enough to be a problem then it's not a problem, yunno? Go with the flow, if it ain't broke don't fix it. They do grow out of this stuff and they do move on and if you're in an adult relationship then there are ways and means of making the physical side of that too. There must be, as we have had 2 children while cosleeping *grin*

For babies over a year old, for genuine problem situations there's the Dr Jay Gordon nightweaning plan that might be worth a look if you wish to continue cosleeping but cut back on the feeding in a realistic and sensitive way.

For the evening wakefulness and 'me time' issue... a lot of families find that their children need to sleep but also need to be close, and will happily zonk out on the sofa or whatever suitable surface you have downstairs. Might be a pram, moses basket or hammock. I know I found it far easier to relax without having to be on 'standby' to get upstairs before complete rousing, if sleeping baby did shuffle around then I was right there already and they went back off more easily too. Others find that their babies need the dark and calm but they can use a laptop, watch a dvd or read, or similar, in bed until either they go to sleep themselves or the baby enters a longer phase of not waking. 'Couple time' can be grabbed in the small hours or morning or afternoon nap, depending on availability of others! And 'me time', which is of course a different thing again, can also be found at other times of day.

Another course of action if you find that your baby is completely waking with their sleep cycle rather than just vaguely rousing and going back off, would be to set a timer for a few minutes before their usual waking time (if it's 45mins then set the timer for 40mins) and get upstairs before they stir so that they can be shushed back off, this can help them get used to not completely waking.

It can be hard to shake off the 'evening meme' that I think is definitely a cultural 'seen and not heard' thing, but it can be worked around. Also it can be far easier to deal with when you know you're meeting a current and *temporary* need, rather than stressing about when it will all end. Sometime before they join the Army or go to University or get married, they won't need to be still waking you up in the small hours. They will probably find a whole host of other ways of getting up your nose though, lol

Originally Posted by trogette

Sometime before they join the Army or go to University or get married, they won't need to be still waking you up in the small hours. They will probably find a whole host of other ways of getting up your nose though, lol

I have to disagree

I am 36, and just the other month I work my parents in the wee small hours.
They live in Australia and I got the time difference wrong and managed to call at 5am - oops.

I think this goes to show that your children are NEVER too old to wake you (but I never co-slept with my parents, so maybe I am subconsciously getting my own back for all those nights I was left to scream in another part of the house....)

rofl! well if we're being picky I did say they won't *need* to, not that they won't...