Thread: Co-sleeping advice please.

We have always co-slept on demand with both girls. Up until now Sofie has probably spent more nights in our bed than out of it, but Emily has only wanted to join us when she has been ill.

But now we have both girls in our bed pretty much full time. This in itself isn't a problem, as both Dh and I are ok with this (we discuss it a lot) and are totally confident that eventually they won't want to sleep with us anymore! But we are running out of space! Dh has actually ended up in the guest room on more than one occasion, because he can't even squeeze into the bed.

We love our bed and don't want to pack it away and revert to a mattress on the floor, but what do others do? How do you fit 2 wriggly children and 2 adults in a queen sized bed? Or does one of the adults move out for a while and accept this is part and parcel of the choices we have made?

What's more important?

Sleep, being with the girls, or being with dh alone for 8 hours?

For us co sleeping wasn't an option after I stopped BF. I admire people that still do it, the idea sounds lovely to me but I need my bed, and some time alone with Dh even if we are asleep for most of it!

Your choice.... is it time to be firm but fair with the girls?

You are important too..... and their needs shouldn't always come above yours.

never did it with DD... other than when she was ill of course then DH used to go into the spare room.

what on earth will you do if they are quite happy to stay sleeping with you & DH?!!!!!

We have a cot at the side of the bed with the cot side removed and a couple of pillows shoved down the teeny gap to make it all even and flat (iyswim). I find that just having that bit extra matress space makes us all more comfy when we have 5 in the bed! , not sure if you still have a cot Fiona but if you do then I'm pretty sure either S or E would fit in it ok still, M who is almost 6 fits in it fine

They could start the night in your bed, but get transferred during the night?

By the time they are teenagers they'd rather poke a stick in their eye than sleep in your bed, so at least your time is limited

What about the two of them sharing a bed or a room.
That way they won't feel so alone iyswim?
Like AL, it was never an option, I fed them both for 6 months and when I stopped I couldn't wait to get them out of our room and be able to go to my own room and not creep about, I look forward to them coming in for a snuggle in the morning.
At the end of the day it's up to you. Sophie is old enough to understand if you were to explain the situation to her, but then do you want her out of your bed????
Let us know what you decide.

Fiona, I think when they find they are uncomfortable with you all in one bed they will shuffle back to their beds or chuck you out - either way I'm sure it will work out. Putting them in the same room worked for us. Or you could have a matress or something in your room you can move one too once she is settled if it is getting uncomfortable.

Our girls would wander in an out during the night, but as we have only ever had a double bed the comfort thing decided it for them. It wasn't really formal co-sleeping though as they had their own beds but we wouldn't turn them away if the needed a cuddle or comforting after a bad dream. We did consider getting a bigger bed but it wouldn't fit unless we removed the fitted wardrobes. They did always sleep in the same room until this summer when dd1 who is 8 in October just wanted time on her own and away from dd2. Although we do often find them back in together.

Mollie only ever comes into our bed now if she is ill, or for a snuggle in the morning. She moved into her own room by time she was 2y, but this was a gradual progress leading up to it, - a bitl ike Sasha describes for hers - in the end as she started taking up more and more room, and I couldn't justify me and DH having an uncomfortable night's sleep.

Me and DH were insistent that neither of us would be transplanted from our own bed (unless a one off if she is ill, etc) , and it was important to us that we didn't end up sleeping apart.

Could you look into the idea of the girls sharing a room and/or bed? Would that work better?

ooh buy them a double to sleep together in. snuggly. maybe get them a special girly quilt cover to make it special?
is it rather they have to be near you or just near 'someone'? it depends doesnt it.

I think a double bed is a cracking idea....then when Emily is fed up with sharing.....it may happen Sophie can inherit it as her own big bed!!