Thread: Co-sleeping advice please.

Sorry ladies, I don't mean to offend but after reading the replies I feel compelled to post. I feel that most people have misinterpreted Fionas question here. IMO she as made it clear in her OP that she and her DH are happy with their decision to co sleep and were not looking for advice as to whether or not she should continue

[QUOTE=Fiona;434599]we have both girls in our bed pretty much full time. This in itself isn't a problem, as both Dh and I are ok with this (we discuss it a lot) and are totally confident that eventually they won't want to sleep with us anymore! QUOTE]

She was actually asking about solutions to sleep comfortably whilst continuing to co sleep. I totally understand that following an AP parenting style is not for everyone and respect their decisions, likewise APing is the right way for other families to parent and advising Fiona on ways to encourage her girls out of the family bed really isn't really answering her question,and though I can't speak for her, I am pretty sure it isn't really what she wants to be hearing either (hence her posting in the Attatchment Parenting Forum ).

Really not meaning to be crabby but just feel that we should all respect eachothers parenting styles, even if they are not ones we personally subscribe to

MM - maybe we just got the wrong end of the stick. no one is having a go at her really for her choice. just offering solutions and by the sounds of it here arent many, or no-one here can think of anything as most of us havent gone through it. (unless anyone comes up wth anything else!)

Fiona - doenst sound like N was very impressed with having to get out of bed, but thats something you'll have to discuss with him, which you prefer, having the girls in with you or the two of you together? you could always take turns who is 'out of bed' if you continue with co-sleeping. i'd imagine you dont want to buy another bigger bed otherwise i suspect you'd have done it already. Amy suggested the dropside cot, which is a good idea if you have one? getting the girls in togther was another suggestion, which frees up space but continues the co-sleeping approach (in a way!) but again as i said earlier will depend on whether E & S like co-sleeping generally or need to be near you in particular.

tricky sitch.

Thanks for all of the replies Ladies.

As I mentioned in my original post, getting the girls out of our bed is not really the issue. Obviously DH wasn't thrilled to be leaving the bed in the middle of the night, hence our need to find a solution that allows all of us to sleep together on a regular basis.

DH and I were together for 13 years before we had Sofie, so spent plenty of time sleeping together. Right now our priority is raising our girls in a way that we believe is best for all of us. DH and I feel we spend plenty of time together, so sleeping on our own simply isn't an issue. We have enough rooms and space in the house, that when we need some 'privacy' it is always easy enough to find.....

The girls do share a room which they insist upon (and we naturally encourage), and even have a shared bed (as well as their own individual beds for when they want/need their own space). DH often jokes that if a stranger came into our home he would think loads of people lived here with the number of beds we have! For the girls though, sometimes nothing replaces being in the 'family bed' with Mummy and Daddy, which I understand.

I fully appreciate this is not everyone's choice, but I want our children to grow up knowing that we are available to comfort them 24/7 (and even just be near to them for no reason at all other than the fact that they choose it). This does not switch off simply because it is night time.

I also know that even when this seems like hard work, the time itself is actually fleeting, and a day will come when DH and I have the bed to ourselves again. I wonder if we will still sleep on opposite sides, clinging to the edge, with a huge cavern of empty space between us?!

So thanks once again for all of the suggestions. We are going to try the drop sided cot for now, which I think will be perfect. TBH I m kicking myself for not thinking of it earlier as this is what we had when Sofie was tiny and it was perfect.

I will also try to sneak upstairs and snap a pic of the girls in their 'nest' (shared bed), as I think that is where they chose to settle tonight!

I don't think anyone has not respected other forms of parenting on this thread, just given alternative solutions from other points of view, as should be the case on a parenting website that has many members.

From the OP I got the impression that they Fiona and/or her DH were not entirely happily with DH having to decamp to an alternative bed in the middle of the night. Hence my response.

However, if you are both happy with the arrangements then continue. I agree a drop side cot can be a good way to extend you own bed - we had one for Mollie when she was smaller. Alternatively you could try the mattress on the floor, but this doesn't really expand the bed space, just means it is less height to get kicked out from.

Another alternative, if you have room, could possibly to have a single bed pushed up to the side of your own bed for any of you to move across in, in order to expand the current bed space in the room. Beds without casters obviously are bettr for this though.

Mollie also knows that I am there to comfort her, for any reason whatsoever, regardless of time of day or night. I think this is important regardless of whether someone chooses to cosleep or not.

Hey Fiona,
Have you got room for a single bed alongside your queen? We had (until may when Hannah decided to move to her own room) a little bed alongside our bed pushed up together to make a big sleeping space. It worked really well and we all had lots of space. Now Hannah's moved into her own room she still comes in to us 2 or 3 times a week and squishes in, i SO miss the big bed!!
Enjoy co-sleeping, it's over too soon.

My sister and BIL co-sleep with their 5 &2 yr olds and they always joke that even if their bedroom was a great big wall to wall mattress the 4 of them would still end up sleeping crammed into a 6ft square space as both kids love to snuggle in as close as possible!