Thread: Is there anyone out there like me?

I'm practically ancient around these parts. 39 years old and counting. My mother became a grandmother for the first time a few months after she turned 40. Yeah, I'm feeling it.

I did semi-attached parenting 17 years ago with the oldest, not knowing that it had a name but knowing that it was the right thing to do for me. He is now a confident, well-mannered (if sometimes slightly scatterbrained) teenager.

I go with the theory that there is only one expert on my child, and it isn't me. It's the child. It's my job to interpret what he is trying to tell me about his wants and needs.

I had no idea that ap was a recognised concept, I like others here, felt it was just my natural instinct taking over.

I was constantly being told that I was "spoiling" my babies for holding them too much - what a strange thing to say! At the hospital where I had all 3 of my children, the midwives were very happy for mum's to sleep with their babies in their beds and I continued to do so at home, mainly because its easier when your bf, especially if your baby likes to latch on for a bit of comfort in the night - saves getting in and out of bed.

I haven't used cloth nappies, but I buy nature baby nappies which are made from biodegradable materials.

The way I look at it, they're only babies for a short time, so make the most of them!

I'm certainly not a teen Mum I'm 38 with a 16 month old - although I was 25 when I had my first baby.
I am a clothie and do try to do my bit for the environment. Not at all into 'attachment parenting' I need my own space too much.
I've always worked around my kids as I've always needed to work. But it's usually been evenings or from home (hence my ebay shop).
I'm loving having this little one more than every although my third was great too. I'm so much more relaxed and really enjoying her.
She will be so spoiled as there's such a big age gap that she's got the choice of four of us to go to and do whatever it is she wants us to do!
Sarah x

I'm 19, not technically a mum yet, but due in May! I didn't realize there was a word for it but it sounds like excactly what I'll be doing. Cloth nappies, home made babyclothes, babycarrying, breastfeeding, homeschooling... I'd love to chat

Hi, This is the first time I have posted on here. Lovely to read that your baby is getting so much love. I am on the old side too (35) and am tandem nursing mum to Sapphire (3) and Etienne (1) - I am a leader with La Leche League, the breastfeeding support group, and had both my babies at home with independent midwives which was fantastic. Our stories are on lotus within if you like such things. We are home educating too!!
Outside of my small group of friends I am very aware that our choices are lonely ones - I find it very difficult to talk to other mothers i meet at the swings for example. They seem to moan a lot and not really enjoy their children at all which seems so sad to me. I hold regular La Leche League meetings at my home in West Sussex if anyone is interested do get in touch.

I was 20 when I had Alastair (just...) who is 29 months now, and I breastfed, attachment parented. He was my first baby, he was 9 weeks prem, and he NEEDED the comfort. He was taken away from me as soon as he was born, and I needed the comfort of having him near me too. We coslept until he was about 20 months old, didn't introduce solids till he was over 8 months, we've used cloth nappies since they fitted him (bout 6 weeks old) and I carried him everywhere. at 8 months I was introduced to slings by a fellow cloth nappy advisor and haven't looked back since! I breastfed him until about 3 weeks ago.

Now I have my new baby to breastfeed and sling, and he has been in cloth nappies since birth. I loved choosing his first nappy when my contractions started!! Seb isn't as clingy as Alastair was, or as demanding, and he rarely cries. I don't get as many cuddles as I would like! We cosleep with him now, although I had them both in with me last night and the night before as Alastair has the pox and was so unsettled.

I have converted one of my friends (well, my only friend who is a mum lol) to babywearing and cloth nappies, she had her second 10 days after me, and I do cloth nappy talks at the baby groups. However, there are still very few breastfeeders, and I do get odd looks when I breastfeed Seb! You can just imagine what they thought when they saw a pregnant lady breastfeeding a toddler! sadly Alastair and my breastfeeding relationship has ended, he has outgrown it, but I am so glad I let him wean himself.

I have always been an "oddball", never fitted in anywhere, and just LOVE proving people wrong. So you can imagine my stubborn delight when my DH's work said "She won't breastfeed long, formula's easier", "she'll want him to go to grans at the weekends" (only stayed there once without me cos I was in hospital with another threatened pre-term labour lol), "those slings will hurt her back, she won't do it long", and "She'll need to use disposables when they go out, so she'll realise it's easier and give up on them". Then "what does she want a homebirth for, they're more dangerous"...blah blah blah blah blah!!

I am content with my parenting choices. My babies are happy, healthy (although poxy atm lol) very outgoing and friendly. Alastair loves talking to people, and is very secure in himself. Seb is the happiest baby I have ever known!

I find that if people want to know about how you parent, they ask. If they just want to slag you off...well you just have be happy with what you're doing!

Hi sarah, im a teen mum. bit younger than u was, i found out i was pregnant a few months after my 16th bday and gave birth 2 my gorgeous baby boy kanya 3 wks b4 my 17th bday! who is now 21months old, i will be 19 in july! xx

Hi to all of you!

Thank goodness there are more out there like me! I, too, never knew AP existed (although i am not a true AP-er as i dont co-sleep). I dont feel its natural to be too far away from my baby, i still breastfeed (none of my friends still do), i am starting to use cloth nappies etc. I have a nearly 5mth old who sleeps brilliantly through the night, & goes to sleep easily in a moses basket in our room after a bath, story & feed, but daytime she prefers to sleep on me& be with me. Even as a teeny baby whenever i tried to put her down to play on a mat / bouncy chair / my bed she cried till picked up - so i did each time & carried her in my arms all day (never used a sling / carrier as she didnt like them, & thankfully was not a heavy baby!). It felt right to do so! I was frowned upon by in-laws, parents, HV, who all said that shes learning bad habits, but i preferred her to sleep on my shoulder / chest in the day when she needed to, & feed when she was hungry (which naturally fell into every 3hrs anyway!). I wish i knew that there was a term for naturally co-existing with your baby with you almost continually!
For those that warned me & worried me about 'making a rod.....', shes much better now, & can play on her mat for 45mins at a stretch, sit in her chair or door bouncer for 20 mins, or just sit on the floor wedged with cushions. I was made to feel sooooh bad by friends who followed sleeping & feeding routines & regimented play / nap times, & who hardly picked their babies up at all. The amount of times i have been asked 'what time is her nap?', but i find i have more freedom as i can go out & about with her, & she sleeps when tired, she smiles a lot & feels, i am sure, a lot more secure.
Even though it wasnt initially a choice to keep her with me all of her waking day, it felt natural to continue to do so. I read a great article on this site stating that babies incubation period is not 9mths, but 12 months as it needs the closeness of a mother within the first 3mths to provide breastmilk, regulate breathing & heart rate, & keep warm. This makes absolute sense! And I wished I had read that on the 3rd or 4th week after Gracies birth instead of feeling like a bad, pampering mother who indulged her baby too much!!
Keep up with it, everyone! We are raising secure, contented babies!
Josiemacy (34yrs old!)