Thread: Home Educating a 14yr old boy (from Yr 9)

Hi ladies - advice needed urgently!

My DS1 has had nothing but trouble since starting an all boys secondary school aged 11. He is now 14 and last week received a death threat from a boy in his class.
He has been bullied since year 7, we have tried working with the school on this but all their promises are empty. He's generally a happy-go-lucky kind of lad but this has stopped him in his tracks.
I have an appointment to go and see the Head of Year and Headmaster tomorrow lunchtime, but to be fair, both DH and I have had enough of the empty words, and the constant going round in circles. DS's grades have plummeted and so has his general outlook on life.
Other schools that are of consideration are very far away and also beset with problems in this age range, so I am seriously considering taking him out of school and home-educating.
I have found a few good websites that have given me a very substantial path to follow, but I really want views of other parents as to what they would do in this situation?
It;s causing such a lot of worry to the whole family, especially as he has been physically attacked on quite a few occasions: really not sure which way is best to go from here.
All advice and thoughts will be very gratefully received, just want some honest stuff from people outside the box, so to speak.

Thanks xx

I'd look around for a home ed group that you can join. I know that Hunny Beez have a lot of home educators. don't really know an awful lot about it other than you have to convince the LEA that you are doing it properly

Oh and also if he became a 'refuser' he'd get some help from the LEA (ie refused to go to school cos of the bullying)

Thanks hun he is a refuser at the moment tbh. We got him into school last Wednesday after the last incident where his tie was pulled very hard and then yanked behind him, resulting in a friction burn round his neck; but this one has just about topped it all off really.
I will get onto the LEA and also see if I can research some Home Ed groups that may be local.

Thanks again x

Hi, We're Home edding. although Mia and tarka aren't at school age yet.

You could join Education Otherwise, as part of the pack you get when you join, you get a contacs booklet with all the other members details in it and you can see who else is home edding in your local area if you wanted to meet up with other HE parents and children.

http://www.education-otherwise.org/

There's also a great book called 'one-to-one' by Gareth Lewis, which covers amost aspects of HE.

Have a look at Yahoo Groups under Home Ed too and there will most probably be a local group for your area.

My personal opinion is that what your son is going through is completely unacceptable and I would make sure he knows that you don't want him to go back into that situation and that you are doing everything to protect him as it must be terrifying for him to face bullying like that on a daily basis. If you feel that you'd be happy for him to learn at home, then it will probably be a huge relief to him and a very positive decision, in light of what he has been going through.

You would have to inform the LEA as he has previously been registerd in school, but there is no legal requirement for him to be at school. In some areas the Lea make yearly visits to the homes of HE families and others have never had a single visit. It really depends on where you live. They don;t have the right to see your son or 'test' him when they visit, they just ask you to talk to them about the ways in which you allow your son to learn at home, this could be structured lessons, 'unschooling' (no formal teaching at all) a flexi approach or whatever suits you.

HTh
Love Gina***

I haven't got any advice for you, just wanted to say that I am so sorry that your son and your family are going through this. It must be a nightmare. I hope you get somewhere with the school when you meet them. It seems that the school is always on the side of the bully in these incidents and they have no real solutions to the problems. Bullying is something that really worries me about going to school for dd and ds.
xx

Hi there, I wish you luck and your son all the best of fun in his new education! I just wanted to add a warning that the bullies may follow him so you need to be really firm with the school and make sure they don't just breathe a sigh of relief that you've gone and think that's the end of their problem. The bullies will think they've won, won't they. They're not going to give it up they'll probably turn on someone else next.

Hi, There is a good group in your area called Kent Home Educators http://www.ukhome-educators.co.uk/ I would definitely withdraw your son from school, he deserves better than his school can offer him. We are going to home educate Hannah and have found the online resources invaluable.

Good luck with your decision,

September x

mac

Couldnt read and not post!

Originally Posted by pixie

I'd look around for a home ed group that you can join. I know that Hunny Beez have a lot of home educators. don't really know an awful lot about it other than you have to convince the LEA that you are doing it properly

No,you don't have to convince them of anything,the LEA.
It is your right to home ed your child in the way suitable to their age,aptitude and ability and the education has to be full time and efficient.
The LEA may wish for their reasons to see you ,you may or may notsee themn,but that is your choice not theirs!!

We see lots of teens withdrawn from schools at this age,and they have a brilliant "new" life!!
We in E.O sadly hear stroy after story of our children and young people suffering all kinds of trauma like your son
It can be a very key time to be hom educated as young people at this age can really enjoy thinking outside of the constraints of a school system about their future path.
I am very happy to put you in touch with various lists and yahoo groups.

I know mine is a biased opinion,as I never sent mine in the first place,but after seeing a child in our local group, having under gone brain scans, related to headaches, related to school phobia, related to bullying I would pull a child out in a shot!!

I hope you find a way through which works for your family