Thread: Jokes

A woman on her deathbed called her husband and asked him to open a box from under the bed. Inside he found 3 eggs and £7,000 in cash. "What's the eggs for?" Asks the husband. She replied "Every time we had crap sex I would put an egg in the box". "Not bad" says the husband, "3 eggs in 35 years. And the cash?" he asks. "Every time I got a dozen I sold them" replied his wife.


Young lad pulls an older woman at a club. She's 58 but looks very good for her age. On the way back to her house bloke is thinking mmm! i bet her daughter is hot. When out of the blue she asks if he'd like a 'Sportsman's Double'? "Wots that?" he asks. "It's a Mother & daughter threesome!" he says. "WOW YES PLEASE" So as they go in her front door, she puts the hall light on & shouts "Mum put your teeth in, he's up for it"!!


I think Andy Gray and Richard Keys should be sacked for their ignorant, sexist comments on TV. Sky Sports should set an example and give their jobs to female presenters...... Preferably ones with big tits



Paddy & Murphy arrive at a fancy dress party - (the theme is emotions) most people are dressed in colours - red for anger, green for jealousy etc. They look shocked to see Paddy naked with his dick lodged in a pear & murphy with his dick in a bowl of custard. When asked what they had come as , Paddy replies 'well i'm deep in dis-pear' & Murphy replies '& i'm fuckin-dis-custard'!