Thread: issues with my boy - **UPDATED**

After Alex didn't get into the top set for maths last term I have made a huge effort and have been coaching him & giving him lots and lots of 'mummy maths' so that he doesn't fall any lower. He was at the top of the second set and his 'level' was fine in that he was above the national average (this is a highly academic and selective school). Anyway, I'm pleased with what he's being doing for me on the Maths front now and hope that our efforts are recognised when he sits his termly tests.

Anyway, this morning he was looking incredibly miserable about life and I sat next to him on my bed and asked him what was the matter. His teacher had asked to see him @ break time last week (so he'd probably been thinking about it for a week) and she told him that his science level was appalling and also went on about his neatness. Yes, he's messy... I often have to rub out his work and make him do it again. However, after having a couple of hours to think about this I'm a bit annoyed that she told him that his level was appalling - it doesn't sound like a very positive and encouraging message (even if it might be true). His current level is 2a for science & after googling have found that level 2 is average for a 7 year old, level 3 average for a 9 year old. He will be 8 in July.

I'm not going to go to school and talk to her about it because I went up to discuss his maths set and also a week later to talk about someone that seemed to be bullying him. I don't want to be the overprotective mother always going up to school but I can't ignore it either. So, I think I'm going to ditch the extra maths and start concentrating on science with him. What do you think?

I'd be inclined to make sure the Head knew the teacher was using words such as 'appalling' when speaking to Alex, for starters, that's hardly encouraging and she really should know that!

If he's 2a for Science that means that, at 7.5 years (near as) he's knocking on the door of the average score for someone that's 18 months older ..... hardly sounds appalling to me.
Is he highly logical? That would explain the messiness, logic and creativity are never side by side, and neatness comes with the creative element of the brain being first and foremost, so you're looking at those who excel in English/Art/History being more tidy with their work than their logical counterparts. Two of my old chums were extremely messy with their work, and pulled up for it all the time to the extent of misery, one is now the Head of Science at a Grammar School, and the other recently stepped down as the Director of the Mathematics Trust!

Re the extra work .... I would say do what feels right for you, if you think it's the Science element that needs more work currently, then go for it.

When you put it like that, I have no idea what she's talking about! He is logical and not much good at art so it might explain the neatness - or perhaps he just can't be arsed and does it as fast as possible to get it over with. Encouraging to hear about your messy friends - can't argue with that!!

FFS, parenting is stressful enough without teachers making it worse! I chatted to dh about it @ lunch and he is going to have a word with Alex to make sure he is OK with the school, happy with friends etc. because he really did look down in the dumps this morning. I am also going to compare Imogen's science book last year to his (will sneak it out of his classroom tonight...) as the work is identical, then I'll be able to assess the difference. I'm all for strong academic schools but not at the expense of a child's happiness.

I would be mad as well - but agree with Macmcrae. Hope you get it all worked out x

It's a shame when schools are like this. I'm experiencing the opposite at the moment. DD4 is in a selective secondary and has had an extended absence caused by illness, and the school have bent over backwards to help, and are emailing work and encouraging letters to her, I couldn't be happier with them.

I hope you get this sorted GG, it's miserable thinking your child isn't being treated in the way you'd like while they're at school.

Keep us posted sweetie xx

that teacher need a slap! Shall I come up?

we are not allowed to use words like that for starters and he fine on the level he at he probably be on level 3 at end of year just have a chat with teacher say not have ds upset like that

If any teacher said that to my children I'd be straight up there!

Poor Alex, such a discouraging thing to say to a 7yr old! Hope you get it sorted.

Originally Posted by Ginnygin

After Alex didn't get into the top set for maths last term I have made a huge effort and have been coaching him & giving him lots and lots of 'mummy maths' so that he doesn't fall any lower. He was at the top of the second set and his 'level' was fine in that he was above the national average (this is a highly academic and selective school). Anyway, I'm pleased with what he's being doing for me on the Maths front now and hope that our efforts are recognised when he sits his termly tests.

Bugger science! He's got himself in the top maths set I am sooooooo proud of him. 'Mummy maths' before and after school works They're allowed sweets tonight and he's going to get a pressie too - woohoo!